Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Home for the Holidays

As many of you know I have been at Mercy Ministries in Nashville Tennessee for a little over two months now seeking spiritual healing through the Lord for my body, heart, mind & spirit… there is SO much to share, lets just say God is OH SO GOOD and very personal!! You may be wondering how I am actually able to have access to a computer right now, since I haven’t for the last couple months. Well, Mercy gives us and the staff a SEVENTEEN day Christmas break to be able to share the holidays with our families. What a blessing! I flew home December 17th and will be in Tyler until January 4th.

Now things are starting to settle down I have just been trying to see some friends and enjoy the last few days with my family!

I have to say that being home has been bittersweet. I have truly enjoyed every moment with my family & my animals, but I also miss my sisters at Mercy and being out of the ‘Mercy Bubble’ isn’t as easy as one might think! Yes, its definitely nice to be able to have freedom… to shower when you want, eat when you want, go to bed when you want, and to have the privilege to use your cell phone and computer along with many other things, but the ‘real world’ doesn’t schedule in quiet time with the Lord, praise and worship and bible reading, nor do you have someone making sure you ‘do the right thing’ to take care of yourself, to walk in obedience to the Lord like you have at Mercy. The enemy really starts talking when you don’t have a staff member to be directly accountable to. In dealing with the temptation of giving into the enemies lies I have to:

  • Recognize the lie
  • Replace the lie with truth from the Word
  • Decipher guilt VS. conviction
  • Pray, recite scripture, listen to worship music
  • Remember that feelings aren’t facts and walk in obedience regardless of how uncomfortable it may be and trust that the Lord will honor me for honoring Him.

THIS IS THE TOUGH PART... much easier said than done!

Recognizing lies as well as making the decision to do the right thing and take time to nurture my relationship with God takes discipline and commitment regardless of how immediate I see results. Since I have been home on break I have found its not the easiest even after being at Mercy for 60 plus days now. When you have all the worldly influences enticing you to seek them instead its easy to give into instant gratifcation So many times in the past I have put many things in front of God thinking those things would comfort me only to find again and again the more empty than I started out. I am much more aware of the temptations now that I have been at Mercy for a bit, and though I know the ‘truth’ about worldly pleasures its still a challenge to put the Lord first, but despite the challenge my heart yearns to please the Lord! My expectations for where I thought I would be physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually was a lot higher than where I find myself. I think I was hoping that this freedom would come more easily than it has, but how do I appreciate something that didn’t take much faith and hard work? I know myself and I wont. And even though I have pleaded with the Lord to just heal me, I have to trust that His way of doing things, whatever the length of time and energy it takes is this way for a reason far beyond my comprehension.

I have to say this is one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life! Yes, I have been in treatment for my eating disorder before, but this is totally different from any other approach. Ive GOT to let go and trust God knows better than I do, this is a choice I have to make, choosing life with Christ or death with ED (eating disorder). Most would think, ‘well duh, that’s an easy choice,’ but there is so much more to it than that, it’s a spiritual battle that takes a lot of fighting energy. I have battled with this eating disorder for 12 years and its very ingrained in me. Its going to take time and a continual renewing of my mind in seeing myself as God sees me.

My two months that I have been at Mercy so far have been incredibly powerful, but Im still a work in progress. I will honestly admit that I was somewhat disappointed in myself and in God when I discovered I still struggle more than I thought. I have to continually remind myself, its progress not perfection. God picks up the slack where I am lacking, He is perfect in my imperfections… this is part of being in relationship with him. I can rely on the God's grace to be sufficient, that I am being healed in the broken places within, knowing that where I am weak He will always be strong enough. I wont give up on God and I know he wont give up on me! God will faithfully fulfill his promises to me as long as I trust & obey.

God definitely placed me at Mercy at exactly the right time.. He knows the desires of my heart and he gives them to me! He knows that I love Christmas & my family is important to me, therefore he blessed me in giving me an unforgettable Christmas at Mercy PLUS a treasured Christmas at home for SEVENTEEN DAYS with my family. Although my Christmas break has been challenging at times I know God knew when he placed me at Mercy that going home for over two weeks was going to be in the mix of my time there and he has had a plan in this time away from Mercy that is a part of my healing and for that I am truly grateful!

Christmas at Mercy...

Christmas at my house

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Prepare To Be Amazed

This is a message I recently received via Facebook. I wanted to share it will all you faithful supporters out there. Thank you, Dawn, for your beautiful message! (posted by Angela Vrba)

Hello,You don't know me but my name is Dawn and I came across your daughter's blog on the Mercy Girls page. I felt very compelled to write you and just tell you how amazing it is that she is at Mercy and how much God will change her life during her time there. I am walking in Freedom from a 13 year eating disorder because of God and a Mercy graduate from the Nashville home. This girl shared with me about Mercy, about Freedom, and became my mentor, I now have walked in Freedom for over 2 years. Freedom from an eating disorder is literally the most amazing thing ever!! Your daughter's new life will resemble nothing like her old life, be prepared to be amazed! When God grabs hold of a heart that was for years starving the life out of it He can do amazing things! Freedom is for real, eating normally is for real and having a positive relationship with food is real. There are many, many freedom walkers from eating disorders walking around in this country and I pray that Meagan will become one of them.

Dawn Shay Normal, IL

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

The Journey continues....

First and foremost, Meagan is doing very well. The journey continues to be challenging, but it is most definitely an "incredible journey". That "broken heart" Meagan speaks of on her blog profile is being healed and transformed in ways she never dreamt possible. "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." Matthew 19:25-27

So much is being revealed to her each day. Most importantly, she is beginning to see herself as God sees her. Always before she has seen herself through the eyes of the world. The enemy has preyed upon her and held her in bondage, thus resulting in the destructive eating behaviors. Those strongholds are being torn down everyday as she is learning to use God's word as the measure of truth about who she is. She has shared many scriptures that have been ministering to her. I'd like to share a few of those and the application she's been able to use for her life.

Luke 8: 43-48 In Luke and in several other gospels the story is told of the women who had suffered with a disease for 12 years, and no one had been able to heal her. She touched the edge of Jesus' coat, and instantly she was healed. Jesus said to her "Dear woman, you are made well because you believed. Go in peace." ~ Meagan shared that she could relate to this woman because she too had suffered with a disease, an eating disorder, for 12 years. She is learning to believe and trust in the only source of true healing ~ Jesus Christ.

Psalms 45:11 The king loves your beauty. Because he is your master, you should obey him. Recently one of the Mercy graduates came and stayed at Mercy for a few days. Meagan said that they really connected, since she had dealt with many of the same difficulties as Meagan. She shared the above scripture with Meagan. This particular passage in Psalms is a song for the King's wedding. She said that she has been able to see how she must think of herself as the "bride of Christ", He sees her beauty and loves her. He must be her first love, and as that relationship is developed and nutured, all other relationships will fall into place. Because He loves her so much and knows what is best for her, she must be obedient to Him. He is Her King! As we discussed this together during one of our phone conversations another aspect of this scripture was revealed. Verse 10 says...Listen to me, daughter; look and pay attention. Forget your people and your father's family. Wow-could that be a message that even dependency on her earthly family has gotten in the way of her relationship with God??? We both had an "ah-hah" moment, because we both know very well that is true. Yes, that is just what we do as a family, we depend on each other, but it is when that dependency takes the place of our dependency on God that we fall into unhealthy relationships.

Isaiah 52 and 53 have been so powerful. Most especially Isaiah 53:5. As Ruth Graham, the wife of Billy Graham, shared from her own experience, "place your name in a scripture and make it personal". Mrs Graham's favorite verse was Isaiah 53:5 "He was pierced for Meagan's transgressions, he was crushed for my iniquities; the punishment that brought Meagan peace was upon him, and by his wounds I am healed" (v. 5). Ruth said, "I claimed that verse and then I knew that I would make it." So she did, and she received the comfort that comes by faith. Meagan, too is receiving that comfort.

Meagan continues to receive numerous blessings from the guests that speak and teach at Mercy each week. Recently a guest was there who is involved with a fitness business in the Dallas area. She said that he shared a great message that seemed to be just what was needed for all the girls at the Nashville home that week. She had the opportunity to talk with him afterwards and tell him that she is from Texas and has been at school the last several years at UNT. She asked him if he knew about the church she attends there, The Village Church, and he did and spoke very highly of the pastor Matt Chandler. He encouraged her to look him up when she returned to the Dallas area. Then she shared with me about an amazing experience with some women of faith from the Nashville area who came and prayed with each girl individually. She felt the presence of the Holy Spirit and was moved by the prayer that was said over her. She was amazed that this women, who had just met her before she prayed with her, had such insight into the desires of Meagan's heart.

All these experiences along with a better understanding and appreciation of God's Word continue to draw Meagan closer and closer to the Lord. He is renewing her mind. Romans 12:2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. We could even hear a change in her voice this past weekend when we talked to her. She is excited and hopeful about what God is doing in her life. We are praising God for all the progress she has made in the six weeks that she has been at Mercy. We can't even begin to imagine what tranformation is to come. All I know is that we are going to be "utterly amazed". You see, that is the message God has been laying on my heart for several months now. I BELIEVE IT! (Written and Posted by: Angela Vrba)

The Art of Thanksgiving

The Art of Thanksgiving

The art of Thanksgiving is Thanksliving.
It is gratitude in action.
It is thanking God for the gift
Of life by living it triumphantly.
It is thanking God for opportunities
By accepting them as a challenge
To achievement.
It is thanking God for inspiration
By trying to be an inspiration to others.
It is adding to your prayers of
Acts of thanksliving…

This says it all!! I received this and just had to share it! Thanksliving ~ what a concept! Gratitude in action ~ wow! What a difference it makes in our lives to daily acknowledge all that we have to be grateful for. Gratitude is medicine for the soul. It changes attitudes. It keeps us focused on all the good in our lives. What better time than Thanksgiving to begin Thanksliving!
(Posted by Angela Vrba)

Friday, November 20, 2009

Message from God

Precious Daughter

I made her…She is different…She is unique.
With love I formed her in her mother’s womb. (Psalms 139:13-16)
I fashioned her with great Joy.
I remember, with great pleasure, the day I created her.
I love her smile. I love her ways. I love to hear her laugh.
And the silly things she says and does. She brings me much pleasure.
This is how I made her. (Psalms 139:17)
I made her pretty and not beautiful, because I know
her heart, and knew she would be vain…
I wanted her to search out her heart, and
learn it would be Me, in her, that would make her beautiful…
And it would be Me in her that would draw friends to her. (1 Peter 3:3-5)
I made her in such a way that she would need me.
I made her a little more lonesome than she would like to be…
Only because I need for her to lean and depend on me…
I know her heart, I know if I had not made her like this,
she would go her own chosen way and forget Me… her creator. (Psalms 62:5-8)
I have given her many good and happy things, because I Love her.
(Psalms 84:1) (Romans 8:32)
Because I love her, I have seen her broken heart,
and the tears she cried alone.
I have cried with her, and had a broken heart, too. (Psalm 56:8)
Many times she has stumbled and fallen alone,
only because she would not hold my hand.
So many lessons she’s learned the hard way,
because she would not listen to my voice… (Isaiah 62:2)
And now she is mine again… I made her, and then I bought her…
because I love her. I have to reshape and remold her…
To renew her to what I had planned for her to be.
It has not been easy for her or me. (Jeremiah 29:11) I want
her to be confirmed to my image… This high goal I have set for her, because...

I LOVE HER (II Corinthians 2:14)

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Jesus Take the Wheel

She threw her hands up in the air
Jesus take the wheel,
take it from my hands,
cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go, so give me one more chance.
Save me from this road I'm on.
Jesus take the wheel.

The above chorus lyrics from the Carrie Underwood song, Jesus Take the Wheel, are the words Meagan said came to her mind one day recently that was especially challenging for her. After thinking back over our phone conversations from the the last couple of weekends and reading back over a couple of letters we've received, I'd have to say this chorus from Jesus Take the Wheel says it all. And Jesus is taking the wheel on this journey. How amazing is that? Wasn't that our prayer I mentioned in the last posting.... (Oct. 15 Our prayer is that she will allow her Lord and Savior Jesus Christ to be the driver on this journey, surrendering ALL to Him!).

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

I truly believe we are all on a journey that is preplanned by God. God is the driver and we are suppose to sit back, completely rely on Him, and enjoy the ride. But as we are traveling along, life happens and so often we try to "take the wheel", be the driver, be in control. Or we let other people or things be the driver. Or we try to be the driver for someone else. Our Heavenly Father knows far better than we can ever know, what is best for us and others. What I've come to learn from my experiences is that the pain is in the resistance. The more I resist allowing God to be the driver the more "pain" (turmoil, discontent, unhappiness, fear, etc) I experience. Peace, serenity, and freedom are the gifts I recieve when I, relax, let go and let God be the driver, and enjoy the ride.

And now for an update as the journey of healing at Mercy continues.... Although Meagan misses everyone tremendously, she is adjusting well to the program. The program is so different from anything she has ever experienced. But different in a good way. The focus is healing of body, mind, and spirit. She is amazed everyday by how God is working in her life through Mercy. As you all know Meagan had a hard time understanding during the waiting period, why it was taking so long. She was often reminded that "God's timing is perfect". Well, she's had the opportunity to have a better understanding of that "perfect timing". The week that Meagan arrived was also the first week for a new nutrionist there at the Nashville home. She says that she could not have asked for a more perfect fit - she loves her and has really developed a great relationship with her. Then on top of that she has an incredible counselor, fitness director, and roommate. A true testiment of God's perfect timing. In a recent letter she said, "I am so grateful for God's timing!" Amazing!

The first couple of weeks there were very busy and quite challenging. She's especially been challenged with her meals and snacks. She has requested prayer in this area. Pray that the Lord will fulfill her heart's desire to be free from the unhealthy, controlling thoughts and behaviors about food. She desires freedom from thoughts about calories, portions, measuring, and weight. Her nutritionist has been so supportive and prays with her often. She is being taught how to challenge the negative thinking patterns with God's truth through His Word.

Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Psalms 37:4

Due to all the extra activities that have been taking place, she said this past week was the first that was more "on schedule". Since the Mercy Headquarters is there in Nashville they have quite a few visitors and extra activities going on. On Sat. of her first weekend there they all spent the day at a farm that is owned by a Mercy supporter. The girls got to fish, skeet shoot, ride mules (four-wheelers), shoot bowes and arrows, carve pumpkins, and more. Although she was not looking forward to the trip at first, she said that she had made up her mind to have a good time, and she did! Then the following Sat. was the first annual Run for Mercy 5K run there in Nashville. Apparently there has been a run in Monroe, La and St. Louis, MO. for several years now. Meagan said it was a great experience. She feels blessed to have been there to experience the outpouring of support and love through the community. It was reported that they raised $30,000 for Mercy. Praise the Lord!

Several pastors and other guests have been coming to speak and teach during the week. Meagan shared with me during our phone conversation yesterday that a local pastor who came there one day last week had a message that was just what she needed to hear that day. When he opened the floor for questions she said that she asked him a question and when he answered her she felt that God was speaking directly to her through Him. She also told us that there have been a couple of Mercy graduates that have connected with her and have been very encouraging and inspiring. One came with her pastor one day when he spoke there. She introduced herself to Meagan and told her that she came to Mercy with a severe ED and she has been right in the same place that she is now. She gave her a lot of hope. Then another girl that had recently graduated came across her blog and wrote Meagan to tell her that she can totally relate to all Meagan shared on her blog. There was a time that she didn't know if it would be possible to be free from the ed thinking and behaviors, but through Mercy she found that freedom. Meagan also continues to be in contact with the Mercy graduate that she had connected with during the whole application and waiting process. Each of these people plus so many others have made her more mindful and appreciative of how God is working in her life through others. Just the right person has been there for her at just the right time, time and time again. God is so good, always!

Most events and activities there at Mercy in Nashville are posted on the Mercy website, It has been such a blessing for us to have that available. We've been able to see Meagan in a couple of pictures from the Run for Mercy slide show and then one from the farm trip. She has also had a couple of her comments published. One comment was about the farm trip and then another was about the Austin Bridge private concert. It brings tears to my eyes and I stand completely and utterly amazed by this incredible ministry. I am humbled and in awe knowing that our family is now a real part of this ministry. It is my prayer that we are each able to give back in some way. We are open and willing to serve God in any way possible through Mercy. Anthony and I will be attending a Mercy Awareness Benefit in Dallas on Nov. 14. We are looking forward to meeting Nancy Alcorn, the Mercy founder, and hopefully finding out more about how we can help. We are also hopeful that there are possibly plans for a Mercy home in Texas sometime in the future. Oh how we'd love to be a part of that happening!

Once again Meagan and our family want to thank each of you for you continued prayers and support. Each of you contribute to this journey in a very special way. May God richly bless each of you. There will be more to come later as the journey continues.......

(Written and posted by Angela Vrba - Nov. 1, 2009)


Thursday, October 15, 2009

Great Is His Faithfulness

Great is HIS faithfulness ~ the long awaited date DID finally come. Yes, I always knew it would, but I had finally given up several months ago trying to predict just when it would be. But before I gave up, I sure thought I had it all figured out -- I was planning for it to be June. Perfect timing for me - out of school for the summer - I'd be able to make the trip to take Meagan to Mercy without having to take off from work - we'd make it a little mini family vacation - she would finish up her six month stay around Christmas - perfect plan (for me). We make plans and He laughs. So true! So once again I had to LET GO and trust that God's timing, whenever it was, would be perfect.

Trust in the Lord with all you heart and lean not on
your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5
HIS timing is perfect, because it is HIS timing! By the infinite grace and mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ, Meagan walked through the doors of Mercy Ministries in Nashville, TN on Tues. Oct. 13 at approx. 1:20 pm accompanied by her dad and me. Of course we were all a little anxious and nervous, but all those feelings were soon eased as we were warmly welcomed by a staff member. We were told that we would be meeting with the Nashville home program director, who would give us an overview of the program, and then we'd tour the cooperate office (which is on the same grounds as the home), and the home. The meeting went very well. The overview of the program was very informative. There's no doubt that it will be tough, but with Jesus as the driver on this journey, we know and believe ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE! The tour was great! It was nice to finally get to meet some of the staff that Meagan has been talking to over the last several months and those that we've read about and seen on the Mercy Ministries website. Everything is so beautifully decorated, colorful, and inspiring. There is a true sense of God's presence and peace throughout.

And so this journey that began several months ago when Meagan started the Mercy application process, now continues..... I love the picture that Meagan has posted on here. It looks like she is on a journey, looking out the window, and enjoying the ride. Our prayer is that she will allow her Lord and Savior Jesus Christ to be the driver on this journey, surrendering ALL to Him. And that the freedom that comes through surrender will give her the strength and willingness to surrender to Him daily.

(From a recent newsletter we receive - Spiritual Moments)
The dynamic and the moving force, the mainspring and core of the life of Jesus was one of continuous self-surrender.

Surrender to God is a choice we must make with every breath. You may not be happy about it right now, but in the bigger picture of life, you'll be glad you chose to surrender to God. (Fr. Gus)

God is perfect and perfect wisdom.
We do not pray in order to change His will,
But to bring our wills in to harmony with His.
(William Temple)

Many thanks and blessings to all you faithful supporters and prayer warriors out there! We appreciate your continuous support and prayers. WE are not sure exactly how this whole blogging thing is going to go from this point forward. Meagan and I have discussed it some and feel a prompting that this too must be put in the hands of God. He knows if and when a posting should be published. We will leave it at that and allow Him to be the driver on this blogging journey, too. (written and posted by Angela Vrba Oct. 15)

Monday, October 12, 2009

Enjoying the Ride to Tennessee

Well, we made it safe & sound to Memphis around 9:30pm. We will be spending the night here tonight. The trip so far has gone well! We thought that we were going to be driving in rain the entire time, but it just misted here & there... thank the Lord! And for someone who has to use the bathroom fairly frequently, we only stopped three times total, which included the our dinner break.

During the car ride I kept busy reading, listening to a CD mom had from a workshop called 'Enjoy the Ride,' writing a few cards, doing a word search, texting & talking on the phone to friends. I also took a lil nap :)

Definitely the most interesting part of the trip was when mom chose for us to eat at a Waffle House in Brinkley since that was just about all there had been to choose from for miles as far as places to eat. That was my first experience at a Waffle House & although I love waffles, I passed up the opportunity to have one. Im not quite to a point that I am comfortable having something like that yet... still something Im working on. This stop was interesting because we were definitely not this particular Waffle House's regular customers! We were picky customers as far as how we wanted our food (mainly me) & we were the quietest, thats for sure! You should heard the employees & a couple of the customers hootin' & hollerin'! That was something I'll remember for sure.

From there we drove the rest of the way to Memphis where we are spending the night at a Comfort Inn. And yes, for all of you who have told me to make sure we are careful here, we are in a safe part of town... no need to worry :) Im laying in bed, with some pretty comfy pillows putting to good use the wireless internet while momma is reading & dad is yelling at the football game on TV, go figure! Gotta enjoy the last few hours I have with them while I can... enjoying the ride!

In Arkansas... Go Razorbacks!

Crossing the Missouri River

Mom & Dad relaxing at the hotel

Im really excited about tomorrow, but also very nervous. I know this is going to be such an incredible experience, but there is still a lot of fear of the unknown & being away from all you are familiar with, especially family in friends. Luckily I have some great cheerleaders back in Texas who I hope to stay in touch with during my time at Mercy. The things Im most anxious about are: my roommate, counselor & dietician, I pray the Lord gives me exactly what I need for my journey...

"Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and
thank him for all he has done."

Thank you all again for all your support, encouragement & prayers. This will most likely be my last post before I arrive at Mercy tomorrow at 1:30. Love you all & may the Lord bless each of you!

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Last FULL weekend in TX for a while

Well, today was my last FULL day in Texas before I leave for Mercy until mid December when I come home to visit for Christmas for two weeks. Slowly but surely it has become more & more real. Saturday night I didnt sleep too good, I think because of the feelings I started experiencing as I began to really, finally pack last night. I figured out I have been avoiding putting my things in the suitcases since, as I began to pack I started to feel a bit anxious, some fear, homesick (already, yes), but also excited... I cant believe this is finally really happening! Here are some pictures of my weekend of preparation starting with Oct. 10th...

My whole family, mom, dad, Connor, Brittany & I all went to go get pedicures &/or manicures together. Yep, the guys even joined us! I know I always enjoy getting pampered a little & even tho the guys might not admit it I think they enjoyed it too. After that we went to see Couple's Retreat followed by dinner at Fat Katz.

Out to eat with my incredibly supportive family

Sunday, Oct. 11, I started out the morning early packing some, then went to church with mom & dad. After church we quickly arrived home so dad didnt miss too much of the Cowboy game, ate lunch, then headed to town to pick up a few more things I needed & did a little shopping at the mall of course!

Upon returning home, we grabbed the food that we made to take the Bilberry's then had the honor to take it to their sweet new family & meet Miss Maddie in person before I leave. What a gorgeous girl... & so content!! I could just eat her up!!!

My mom asked me if I wanted a picture with Madelyn...
what was she thinking??? DUH!!!!

Gushing over this precious miracle from the Lord

Mom is very much looking forward to having a lil grandbaby of her own someday!

Kathryn, Maddie, Luke & Me. This couple is truly reflect the light of Christ

Yes, I gave her back to her sweet momma!
God bless this sweet family.

When we got back home from the Bilberry's the Lackey's came by to say bye & gave me a little something.. books & bath & body works. Two of my favorite things! I finished most of my packing... here is the progression of filling up my suitcase.

This is how the packing looked at first...
One large suitcase (empty still) & a duffle bag

So then I filled the first large suitcase & mom thought that I could go with a medium second suitcase rather than two large. I told her if I wasnt able to
fill the other large one completely I could always transfer
to the medium one. She must have forgotten that her daughter has lots
of clothes & other must have items, plus I need plenty of items to keep me warm!

I was definitely able to pull off filling two large suitcases & a duffle bag with some overflow, go figure :)

Connor, Brittany & Rootbeer came over for our weekly family home cooked meal. This is the last time I'll see them till Christmas... It was really hard to say goodbye.

Look at Rootbeer... so photogenic!

There are two lasting bequests we can give our
children. One is roots. The other is wings.
~Hodding Carter, Jr.

Despite all the busyness of the weekend, it was full of lots of sweet time with
my family, something I cherish the most.

Thank you all for all your encouraging emails, facebook posts & messages,
phone call, texts & prayers. Your prayers have been felt & very much appreciated as I haveprepared for this chapter of my journey.
May God bless each of you- Meagan

My mom is going to be keeping you all updated as best she can (she might need a little extra tutoring with the blogging). If you would like to get in touch with her she is on facebook as Angela Foshee Vrba. Her phone & email is: 903.360.5547

Just in case you enjoy participating in snail mail:

Meagan Vrba
c/o Mercy Ministries
15328 Old Hickory Blvd.
Nashville, TN 37211

Depending on Him

While I was on the waiting list for Mercy I was given various books to read & write responses over. One of the books was about Emotional Dependency & how many of us depend on the wrong person, place or thing to find fulfillment & ultimately run into the same feeling of emptiness every time. I know I've sought dependence & fulfillment in the wrong things all throughout my life & that's been a huge part of why I have continuously struggled with ED....

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Mercy Ministries

Drugs. Cutting. Abuse. Eating Disorders.Unplanned Pregnancy. Alcohol.

Choose death....
or choose healing through the Lord.
Choose LIFE!

At the bottom of my blog there is another video I posted about Mercy & their philosophy that is very powerful & moving. Make sure you check it out...
A Pathway of Hope in Him.

If God had Voicemail

I receive daily devotionals designed to help me begin my day with God's Word & give me a Spiritual Boost from . One devotion that I recently got reminded me that God doesnt possess human qualities. I forget this a lot because Im surrounded by human's all the time, so its easy to project human qualities on God. To remember who God truly is its important that I spend time in the Word & in remain in constant contact with Him.

Now what if God changed like we do, and was to busy
to hear our prayers? Thank goodness God said:
"I am the Lord, I do not change." (Malachi 3:6)
So sit back and enjoy a humorous look at what prayer might
be like today if He did!
We have all learned to live with "voice mail" as a necessary part of modern life. But, have you wondered, what if God decided to
install voice mail?

Imagine praying and hearing this:
Thank you for calling My Father's House.
Please select one of the following options:
Press 1 for Requests
Press 2 for Thanksgiving
Press 3 for Complaints
Press 4 for All Other Inquiries.

What if God used the familiar excuse..."I'm sorry, all of our angels are busy helping other sinners right now. However, your prayer is important to us and will be answered in the order it was received,so please stay on the line. "Can you imagine getting these responses as you call God in
Prayer? If you would like to speak to:

Gabriel, Press 1
Michael, Press 2
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Thank GOD, He Doesn't Have Voice Mail And
He Always Listens When We Pray!!!

Friday, October 9, 2009

Childlike Faith

A couple of my favorite pictures
from when I was a little girl,
living in childlike faith...
how freeing it is to live carefree,
vulnerable, trusting & to the fullest.
I will embrace this childlike faith as a way of life
no matter what age I am.

"Truly, I say to you, whoever
does not receive the kingdom of
God like a child shall not enter it."
Mark 10:15

What I get out of my Eating Disorder (ED)...

There is a reason we do the things we do... exercise, studying, drinking, dieting, getting into unhealthy relationships, lying, sleeping, smoking, shopping, ect. We continue acting on a particular thing because we get something out of it, some sort of payoff or reward. To recognize why you participate in these actions, or what your motivation is for continuing to hang on to a certain habit (whether positive/negative) in your life its important to evaluate what you get out of the behavior you're participating in. For example: I study because I make better grades.

So the question is, what do I get out of my ED???
(Please read in a non-judgemental way, this is extremely honest)
  • security
  • control
  • keeps me at arms length in friendships/relationship so I dont get hurt emotionally or sexually
  • people dont expect as much from me when I'm struggling
  • keeps me small so guys arent sexually attracted to me
  • occupies my mind when I dont want to deal with my emotions
  • I use it as an excuse to get out of uncomfortable situations that Im too scared to face honestly
  • I feel like I dont know what I am without it (its all I have known for a long time)
  • self-sabatoge
  • self punishment for past sins
  • its my voice
  • feel anxious/out of control without it
  • keeps me somewhat needy/dependent on my parents
  • keeps me from having to completely grow up
From my list I can obviously conclude that continuing to participate in my ED is not a healthy thing, but self destructive in many ways. My motivation for my ED is based on past fears, hurts or lies that I must face & deal with appropriately.

Besides the obvious physical toll ED takes on my body, its self destructive in many other ways as well. It steals:
  • God
  • time
  • friends
  • money
  • feelings
  • maturity
  • peace of mind
  • family
  • opportunities
  • jobs
  • boyfriends
  • enjoyment/fulfillment
  • assertiveness
  • self esteem
  • hope
  • hobbies
"The thief comes only to
steal, kill & destroy;
I came that they may have life &
have it abundantly."
John 10:10

Evaluate the things that you do... what you are getting out of them & whether or not these pieces of you life are stealing from you or adding something positive in shaping you in becoming more fully who Christ made you to be!