Monday, January 3, 2011

my blog

I have debated for the last several days about whether or not to get back into blogging some and decided my debating was turning into worry, fear and procrastination.  I knew if was going to do it I just needed to quit thinking about it and analyzing it, like I do with EVERYTHING, and write!  My thoughts and concerns varied:
  • what will my first post be about??
  • will I have the time to do this??
  • should I switch to a different blogging site/platform??
  • do people really want to hear what I have to say??
  • what will my first post be about? .... it needs to be something good ??
  • what will other people think??
  • can I stick to the goals I so desire to publicly acknowledge??
  • what will my first post be about??
Im sure there were MANY more thoughts, in fact I know there were, but most of them were fleeting-- that crazy, negative self-talk that time and time again has done nothing but keep me stuck.   So, rather than answer all these questions (which if I did u might not see a posting till Summer 2011), or allow those fleeting thoughts to tear me down, I said to myself,
Everything that you are doing is keeping you from writing, from moving forward, from doing yourself a favor... Meagan, this blog, at this time is not for anyone else, but you and your health and well-being.   You know you want to make positive, but tough changes in your life and believe that working towards that will helpful through writing, but by not getting your butt in gear and starting you are allowing yourself to stay stuck.  You are doing what you have always done, you are living in fear.  Your blog is just that, YOUR BLOG! You can do whatever the heck with it you want and it DOESN'T have to be perfect, nor does what you share have to be perfect.  This season in your life is about you, your healing and growth, your journey with the Lord, allow Him to speak through you and to you in the process to touch others and quit trying to run the show, or think things have to look perfect... quit trying to control things like you know better than GOD!  He doesn't ask for perfection, just progress.. He makes up for where you are lacking. (this is me talking to myself... not out loud, ha!)
Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.  2 Corinthians 12:10

So my friends, this blog, my blog, at this time in my life is for me.  Its to help me rediscover who I am apart from who I have been and what I have known for the past 13 years.  I so desire to have much, much more than what I have had in the past years and know that the Lord desires to give it to me if only I would trust & obey....

As a preface to my upcoming writings I want to state several things for accountability and my own sanity...
  • I will do my best to have no expectations about what I write and how often I write
  • What I post doesn't always have to be fancy or decorated (as my dad would say: 'KISS- keep it simple stupid')
  • I will write from my heart rather than what I think people want to hear
  • I will challenge myself openly physically, emotionally and spiritually and allow myself to be challenged by others.
  • I will do my best to have no expectations (this needs repeating)
  • I will not spend an unreasonable amount of time on my blogging escapades
  • I will be honest
  • I will remember that this blog is for me and if God chooses to use it to touch lives then so be it
So here is to a fresh start in the New Year! 
"greater things are yet to come, greater things are still to be done..."


Jenny said...[Reply to comment]

Meagan, you are fantastic :) You shouldn't feel "judged" by what you say, becuase you have so much wisdom behind your words! Keep your head up and "keep on keepin' on"

Meagan said...[Reply to comment]

thanks darling.. and for your support and encouragement :)

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