Home Sweet Home

I could not have asked for a better time at home, except maybe replacing the first few days with the desire and willingness I God gave me about 5 days after I was home.  I don't know what exactly triggered the change, except I knew I wanted more than wasting my life away to an ed that ultimately gave me nothing in return.  Once I was able to swallow my pride, let go and begin trusting things started to shift in a positive, life-giving way making my time at home that much sweeter and refreshing spiritually, emotionally and physically!

Here is a recap, in pictures, of my break...

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree....

Christmas Day... PRESENTS!

Rootbeer!

My precious brother

Our 'Cajun Christmas' Dinner- 

(Notice the HUGE stuffed porkchop my bro had!  Stuffed bell-pepper was my entree of choice)

Jesus' Birthday Cake

 

Cousins at Grandma's house

Banana Doughnuts mom & I made, mmmm, mmm GOOD!! 

 

Photo Fun!

Laughter

Dinner @ Jason's with Katie

Staying warm with Rootbeer

....only the beginning of much more joy to come!
^"The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows). " -John 10:10

I couldn't have asked for a better Christmas, except maybe trading in the first couple of days for a more willing spirit... but I know that the Lord had His perfect timing in each moment at home.  When I finally let go, He was more able to really move and work everything out for good.  Some key factors that contributed to my change of heart included: 

• Discontentment & conviction in my heart; loneliness and shame
• A longing for peace, happiness and freedom that was enhanced with the festivities of the Christmas season
• Christmas Eve service message
• My time at home being an opportunity to have extra support when sought
• The unconditional love and support of my family; words can't express how blessed I am to have parents, a brother, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins who all support and believe in me and the power of the Lord through me
• The break from school and work giving me the opportunity to take time to refocus nourish my whole self
• Other admirable bloggers: Jenny, Katie, Dana, Angela, Jenna,  & Rebecca ... so many others too!
• Prayers & renewing my mind... 
• This awesome book my dear friend Jeanette gave me has really been speaking to my heart...  Come Away My Beloved - original Edition
• The message God gave me in my quiet time... He reminded me of a verse that I cherished while I was at Mercy: Psalm 45:11- "The King is enthralled with your beauty, honor Him for He is your Lord." This verse speaks for itself, my God thinks I'm beautiful just the way I am, because He is my God, a faithful and loving God I am able to worship Him, which enables an even greater overflow of beauty... inner beauty.
• This verse is was instrumental in presenting to me prior verse, "Listen, daughter, and pay careful attention: Forget your people and your father’s house." - Psalm 45:10;  To me, the Lord is saying to me in this verse, "Meagan, at this time in your life it is time to depend on ME and not be overly dependent on others..." I love this message, it is perfect for me and such reassurance as I prepared to go back to Denton.  I was able to use the support of my family while there, but it's now time to fully rely on God.  I will admit, sometimes it is easier to go to a person for support rather than the Lord, but I know that He is the only one that can truly give me what I need.  
• This lovely necklace to take home as a reminder of the significance of these verses and what they mean to me. 

Between December 23 and December 28 I was stuck in a deep, dark pit where my heart was torn between being with my family and being with ed for the break.  But God, in His loving-kindness, shined His light into my pit of destruction giving me a new-found willingness, desire and hope.  At the beginning of my time at home I never would have dreamed I'd end up staying over 2 weeks, nor be in a better place all around.  God is so good, Praise Him!  

"You take my mourning turn it into dancing, 

You take my weeping turn it into laughing,
You take my mourning turn it into dancing,
You take my sadness turn into joy ."

-Restoration Song

Day One- Beautiful You

I mentioned in my goals for 2011 that I would like to do a few exercises a week from the book Beautiful You: A Daily Guide to Radical Self-Acceptance.  I had stumbled across this book on Dana's blog before Christmas and received it from my family for Christmas.  It's a neat book if I do say so myself and the author, Rosie Molinary, created this video about her inspiration behind the book.

 

So today's exercise asks what are your hopes both personally and for the world with regard to body image and beauty perception and how can you begin to live your hopes today?

For Myself-

• See and love myself as God does; be kind, gracious, loving and merciful to myself just as the Lord is to me... a good metaphor for me is to treat myself as I would this precious, innocent, little Meagan...

 

The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing" (Zephaniah 3:17).  

How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. (Psalm 139:17-18)

• Treat my body as God's temple
• Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. (1Cor. 6: 19-20)

• Be a good steward of my body so that He may use me
• self-care through nourishment, hydrating, exercising, vitamins...
• For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. (Eph. 2:10)
• Let go of weight, clothing size and the identity I find in them.
• I am chosen of God, holy and dearly loved. (Colossians 3:12)
• Accept myself at a healthy weight for me and maintain this long-term.
• For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:13-14)

• Believe in my heart that my beauty has nothing to do with outer appearance, but God radiating through me.
• Don't depend on things like fancy hairdos or gold jewelry or expensive clothes to make you look beautiful. Be beautiful in your heart by being gentle and quiet. This kind of beauty will last, and God considers it very special. (1Peter 3:3-4)

• Remember that the people in my life who truly love and care about me will love and accept me no matter what I look like, but more importantly I am loved and accept by my God.

For the World-

• I want the same for the world as I do for myself.  I think that people would be so different, more peaceful and joyful, if they could just love and accept themselves right where they are at and quit trying to be someone else.  
• I wish that there wasn't so much focus on size, image, agelessness, food, diet, exercise, I could go on and on and more positive focus on who we are as people not as bodies.  We are not our bodies (I say this for you just as much as I say it for me), they simply house our true selves.  I believe by acknowledging this we are better able to take care of ourselves based on God's desires for our entire being rather than on the world's.  (this is not easy, trust me, I know)

Action Plan-

• Renew my thought life through the Word
• Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.  -Rom. 12:2

• Choose to think happy thoughts
• Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.  Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.  -Philippians 4:6-10

• Be a good steward of my body, mind, soul and spirit.
• Do what's right even when it doesn't feel good... feelings are NOT facts!!! 

• Allow Christ's grace, mercy and unconditional love in my life overflow into the lives of others so that they may truly experience Him and come to a place of accepting and loving themselves. 
• Be active in helping others see their true inner beauty. 
• Leave 'You are beautiful' notes as part of Operation Beautiful

  

Beautiful By: Mercy Me