Its YOUR day!

twenty-5

Twenty-5 thingS I've learned about
life SO FAR:

1985

1. Beauty comes from within
2. Actions speak louder than words
3. Make your faith your own
4. You must love God and yourself before you can love anyone else
5. The way I live my life is my gift to God
   

1990

1. True friends stick by you through thick and thin
2. Comparing leads to discontentment which also is saying that what God has given you isn't good enough
3. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didnt do
4. I am Christ's bride and he is in pursuit of me
5. Dancing and laughing are both good for the soul

1995

1. A daddy's hugs are priceless
2. Worrying gets you nowhere
   
3. The truth will set you free
4. Keep a gratitude list
5. It's not about me

2000

1. My family is a gift
   
2. People-pleasing can cause a lot of heartache
3. Chivalry is one of the most attractive traits in a man
4. There is more to being a Christian than showing up to church each Sunday
5. One of the greatest pleasures in life is to have your hair played with

2005

1. There is nothing like the unconditional love of your animals
2. Adversity builds character
   
3. Credit cards are just asking for trouble
4. Nothing is coincidence; God works everything out for good
5. God makes up for where I am lacking

2010

Twenty-five years ago, June 29th,1985, I was given the blessing of life. Entering the world on that day I had no clue what God had in store for my life. Between now and then my life has been full of ups and downs, heartache and joy, fear and peace. I can recall times of wondering why God had given me 'this' particular life to live and not the life of someone else who seemed to have it easier or had it all. There were also times that I thought it would be easier to die than to live the way I was living, because really, I was living at all I was just getting by, waiting... but through the years the Lord has had His hand on me. He has preserved my life and kept me from falling into the pit of death so I could experience full, ABUNDANT life in relationship with him AND use my life to touch the lives of others through God's life shining from within me. Although I am nowhere close to what I thought it would be like at this point in my life, I am trusting and believing that God's plan for me is far better than mine!

Live, LAUGH, Love...

Mercy Ring

So, I received my long-awaited graduation ring from Mercy not too long ago. I cannot tell you how excited I was to wear it! Let me share with you a little about the ring itself and the significance it carries with it...

Mercy Graduation rings are handmade by a former Mercy graduate. Each girl that completes the program at Mercy receives this ring as a gift, a reminder and a unity that will last forever. The rings represents SO many things...

First and foremost it signifies my covenant to the Lord. Just like a wedding band, this Mercy ring conveys deep emotions of eternal, unconditional love, eternal happiness, eternal commitment, and eternal togetherness between the Lord and I. These rings signify eternity - it's a complete circle with no break and no end or beginning, it just goes on and on - it is eternal. God's love for me and my love for Him is eternal, through thick or thin, better or worse.

Not only does the ring signify the unity I share with my God, but also with all of my many, beautiful Mercy Sisters and the connection and gratitude that I will have for Mercy Ministries for the rest of my life.

cooking in the kitchen

hanging out

sisters forever

sunbathing together

God couldnt have blessed me with a more wonderful place or more amazing people to grow close to him and experience freedom.

Em, my counselor

Brooke, my nutrition manager

Christy, the nurse

My home for 7 months

The ring also is a reminder of where God has brought me from. Goodness, to think back to this time last year... it was a scary time in my life. But God, in his infinite love saved me from the grips of death and placed my feet on solid ground. It's a reminder that all things are possible through Him.

"I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry, He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what he has done and be amazed.
They will put their trust in the Lord." Ps. 40:1-3

before

after

The three stones on my ring each represent different parts of the Trinity. God, the Father, God the Son, and God, the Holy Spirit. Each of these that God exists as a unity of three distinct persons, yet identical in essence. Each is divine, yet there are not three gods, but one God. The Trinity shows us that there exists in all the universe a single being known as God who is self-existent and unchangeable. The Father creates (Isaiah 44:24), the Son redeems (Gal. 3:13), and the Holy Spirit sanctifies (Rom. 15:16).

‘Do not tremble and do not be afraid; Have I not long since announced it to you and declared it? And you are My witnesses. Is there any God besides Me, Or is there any other Rock? I know of none.’ Isaiah 44:8

Each part of the Trinity is summed up simply by: The Father creates (Isaiah 44:24), the Son redeems (Gal. 3:13), and the Holy Spirit sanctifies (Rom. 15:16). As the Trinity is three distinct Persons in one God, each of these stones is a reminder that I must strive to harmonize the distinct aspects of my personality into the single purpose of loving God and loving others.

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.'The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'There is no commandment greater than these." Mark 12:30-31

Lastly, my Mercy is a symbol of God's Mercy. If you look closely at the ring, the way the three stones are set creates an 'M.' Not only for Mercy Ministries, but also God's mercy in my life. Mercy is withholding of punishment, and an act of giving help or having compassion on the afflicted. The loving-kindness of Jesus Christ gives to us Eternal Life. My Salvation is an act of the mercy of God, completely unwarranted by my past actions.

"It wasn't so long ago that we ourselves were stupid and stubborn, dupes of sin, ordered every which way by our glands, going around with a chip on our shoulder, hated and hating back. But when God, our kind, loving, merciful Savior God, stepped in, he saved us from all that. It was all his doing; we had nothing to do with it. He gave us a good bath, and we came out of it new people, washed inside and out by the Holy Spirit. Our Savior Jesus poured out new life so generously. God's gift has restored our relationship with him and given us back our lives. And there's more life to come—an eternity of life! You can count on this." Titus 3:5-8

I am certainly extremely undeserving of complete forgiveness and an abundant life with no strings attached. The way I was living, the lies, abuse to my body, worshiping idols... I could go on and on, I very much deserved death, eternal death, but God rescued me! He saved a wretch like me!

"The Lord rescued me from every evil work and has given me salvation in his kingdom in heaven: to whom be glory for ever and ever. " 2 Tim. 4:18

"The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!” Lam. 3:22-23

A covenant, a unity of multiple dimensions, a reminder of the power of the Trinity and a reminder of God's merciful love in my life. So much significance in a single piece of jewelry, significance that I will cherish forever.

God Alone
You are not a god
Created by human hands
You are not a god
Dependent on any mortal man
You are not a god
In need of anything we can give
By Your plan, that's just the way it is

You are God alone
From before time began
You were on Your throne
Your are God alone
And right now
In the good times and bad
You are on Your throne
You are God alone

You're the only God
Whose power none can contend
You're the only God
Whose name and praise will never end
You're the only God
Who's worthy of everything we can give
You are God
And that's just the way it is

Unchangeable
Unshakable
Unstoppable
That's what You are

ttp://www.carm.org/what-trinity;http://jeffreykahl.blogspot.com/2009/06/practical-significance-of-trinity.html

sacrificial LOVE

This is a story of two special girls in my life, how they honored God, blessed me

and blessed so many others...

Saturday, April 3, Shelby was doing everything she could to cause herself to go into labor. We walked laps around the house and then she would pause and do squats, anything to get this baby out. The poor girl was in so much pain. On April 4th, at about 3:30am, in the weeeeee hours of the morning I was awakened and told that Shelby was in active labor and to grab the bag that I had packed and get ready to head to the hospital with Shelby. Shelby's mom had flown in on Saturday from Canada in hopes that her daughter's baby would arrive soon. She met us at the hospital.


Once we got settled in Shel was given an epideral, once she had that she was in heaven! For the next several hours we waited for her to be fully dilated. By about 11am it was time to PUSH! The midwife, nurses, Shelby's mom and I all prepared for the birth. Poor Shel, she got ready to push 2 or 3 different times, but the midwife would end up having to leave to check on 2 different emergency situations. She was so calm considering she was more than ready to push the baby out, but they were delaying it. I am pretty sure I would be freaking out!

Swollen feet to your right

With literally 2 pushes and within 5-7 minutes I witnessed one of the coolest miracles of God I have ever seen. Adorable, baby boy Kayden was born at 12:07pm on Easter weighing 7lb 2oz and he was 19in long.

Easter baby!

There is more to this story than what meets the eye...

I was asked before Christmas to go with my other dear friend Ainsley when she gave birth to her twin baby girls. Due to some of my poor choices to meet some goals that had been set for me I was not able to go with Ains. Little did I know that later God would redeem this opportunity to me.
Ainsley had her two, precious baby girls on January 29, 2010, Emmi-Rose and Blakely. Although I wasnt able to be there for the actual birth, I was able to go visit Ains and her precious girls in the hospital. Ainsley gave her girls up for adoption to a very loving family.

We only got to see one of the girls because the other was in the NICU for a short bit

April 22, Ainsley's Graduation

She and Shelby are both very good friends... Ainsley was supposed to go with Shelby to the hospital, but she was told it might be best for her to not go because the whole thing might be tough after doing such a brave thing and giving up her own girls. That is when Shelby asked ME to go with her instead. What a redeemer God is! I was MORE than happy to stand in Ainsley's place!

Both of these girls obeyed the Lord in what He had led them to do. I love that God gave Shelby a revelation about the significance of her little boy being born on Easter. April 4, 2010 was an extra special day for my dear friend Shelby and me. Not only was it Easter, a celebration of Christ's victory over death, but it was also the birthday of Kayden Bentley. Just as God gave up his only son, so He asked her to do the same. Kayden being born on Easter was confirmation for Shel that she was doing the right and that she was definitely in God's will for both herself and her son. She would be honored, both these women of God, will be honored for their obedience to the Lord. I can only imagine what a sacrifice one's own child could be.

What a testament to each of us of giving up things sacrificially to the Lord. Think of all many things we hold onto both physical and mental that really have no worth or value, things that we cant even give up for a day without going crazy. If these young women can give up their own children to the Lord, then how much could we give?

Giving out of our excess is not genuine giving. The sacrificial giving of a sinner moved Jesus heart and spirit. I’m not saying you shouldn’t give if you’re not doing it sacrificially; what I am saying is that I don’t believe that kind of giving strengthens your faith, the kind of faith that brings you salvation and eternal life.

One of the reasons I believe God calls us to give sacrificially is that it strengthens our faith and helps us grow spiritually. If we merely give out of our excess we don’t give God the opportunity to prove his faithfulness. That’s like lifting a very light weight. It won’t strengthen your muscles. But when we give sacrificially, when we give to the point of it hurting a bit, we exercise our faith…we learn to trust in God by giving him a chance to prove himself trustworthy.

If we’re honest we’ll admit that most of us put a lot more trust in the security of money, possessions and people than we do in the security of God’s promises. There’s a word for that; it’s called idolatry. Nothing breaks the spell of idolatry like sacrificial giving. God, he first checks out our hearts to determine the motive behind it. He also checks if our attitude is right and if we are giving out of obedience. Remember when giving to God that he does not need your offering. Genuine giving benefits us. It strengthens our faith and protects us from idolatry. He just wants to build a character in you that will make room for more of his blessings into your life.

Giving to God should make you feel that something important has left your life. Give God the best you have. This will move God. He will move in your life and pour down a blessing you do not have room to receive.What cant God do for you when your heart is right? In order for his blessings to pour down on you, release what you have in faith. Let go without knowing how God will provide and watch his faithfulness to honor and bless you!

Shel, Me & Ains before

& after!!!

"Let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise—the fruit of lips that confess his name. And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased." Heb. 13:15-16

"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." Ps.51:17

"In view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."
Rom. 12:1-2

"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and
sacrifice to God." Eph. 5:1-2

(http://www.thestraitgate.org/devotionals/faith-at-work-devotional/sacrificial-giving-strengthens-faith/) http://ezinearticles.com/?Sacrificial-Giving&id=2338665

An Honor

I have to share with you something exciting that I got to participate in this past weekend. Before I left for Mercy back in October my dear friend of many years, Leslie Bell, asked me to be her maid of honor. I was beyond shocked and so flattered, but was hesitant to accept because I knew that I was going to be away for the next six months at least. Leslie didn’t care and she let me know that she was fully aware of my lack of availability for the next several months and that did not change her mind in having me as her maid of honor. Her and her mom both told me not to worry, just to go and take care of myself and they would be praying for me and waiting for my return.

What a blessing... see for many years now I feel that I have really missed out on a lot. I dont say this for people to feel sorry for me or to feel sorry for myself, its just the truth. Anorexia stole a lot from me, but because of my choices. I was definitely a participant, whether I realized it or not. I wanted anorexia, an illusion more than I wanted what really matters in life, God, family and friends. I thought I would never get the opportunity to be in any friend's weddings, much less be a bridesmaid, but Leslie chose ME as her Maid of Honor! I, of course, did worry that I wouldnt be home in time for the wedding, but I eventually placed it in God's hand's knowing that he knew what an honor and blessing this was for me so why wouldnt he work it out for me to be there? I know that this is one of the many things God is in the process of redeeming in my life while fulfilling the desires of my heart.

So, on May 25, 2010, 12 days after I got back to Texas from Nashville I got to see Leslie for the first time at her bachelorette party. That same evening I finally got to meet her husband to be, Joel Reeves.

Four days later, May 29, 2010, I spent the day out at Elmwood Gardens with the wedding party rehearsing, decorating and getting all dolled up for the wedding celebration. At 7pm I had the honor of witnessing the beautiful marriage of Leslie Faith Bell to Joel Reeves. What a great illustration of Christ's love for us. God made us male and female, so that we could understand, through experience, the intimate pleasures of a personal relationship. Virtually every difference of our bodies from the other primates was brought about for this end. But it is the spiritual relationship that God is most concerned with. The intimate marital relationship between husband and wife is 'right,' because it conforms to the spiritual relations. I love this explanation of Christ's bride.

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery -- but I am talking about Christ and the church. Ephesians 5:31-32

I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy. I promised you to one husband, to Christ, so that I might present you as a pure virgin to him. 2 Corinthians 11:2

Love your wife as Christ also loved the church. Ephesians 5:25

Congratulations Leslie and Joel! May your marriage be blessed beyond measure!

God's Butterfly

The morning after my graduation God spoke to me about the significance of two gifts I received one at the beginning of my Mercy journey and one at the end. I wanted to share this cool illustration of how cool God is to care about every last detail of our lives....

The day before I left for Mercy in October Connor and Brittany gave me a beautiful James Avery charm for no particular reason except to mark the beginning of this journey for me.

La Mariposa (butterfly) Charm

At the time I knew a couple different things about what butterflies represented:
*Recovery*
*New Life*
Little did I know the significance this charm would have at the end of my Mercy journey when I received a second James Avery Charm from my Godmother and her husband.


The Crosslet Butterfly Charm.
The solid butterfly with a tiny cross cut through reflects a symbol of faith. The butterfly is a symbol of the Resurrection. The beautiful form of the butterfly bursting forth from the seemingly lifeless chrysalis suggests Christ's victory over death.

The day after I graduated from Mercy I gazed in the mirror admiring my precious new piece of jewelry and pondering all that God had done in the last several months and this is what God laid on my heart...
The first charm, the cut out butterfly, represents what the beginning of this journey looked like for me, empty, but new life in the making. The second charm, the crosslet butterfly, represents the end of my time at Mercy after God got done with that chapter in my life, whole, complete, new and full of God (illustrated by the cross). After God blessed me with this I did a little research about butterflies and the meaning of James Avery's pieces I received and the message became even more powerful.....
The second charm I received represents Christ's victory over death, satan, in my own personal life. I am the butterfly, full and complete, with Him living on the inside of me and outwardly manifesting in my life.
Other things that I've learned butterflies symbolize:
*Freedom*
*Transformation*
*Soul*
*Delicacy*
I couldnt help but think of two different illustrations of the butterfly in a couple of things that I have read recently and want to share those.

The Butterfly and the Cocoon
One day a small opening appeared on a cocoon. And a man sat and waited by the butterfly as it struggled to get out of the cocoon, as it forced it's body through the newly formed little hole. Then it seemed to stop making progress.

To the man it appeared to have gotten as far as it could. So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pear of scissors and snipped through the remaining cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. Thou it had a swollen body and small shriveled wings.

The man continued to watch the butterfly, because he expected that in any moment the wings would enlarge and expand and would be able to support the body that would contract in time. But to his surprise neither happened. In fact the butterfly spent the rest of it's life crawling around with the swollen body and shriveled wings. Never able to fly.

What the man in his kindness and hast did not understand, is that the restricting cocoon and the struggle was required for that butterfly to get through the tinny opening. It was natures way for forcing the fluid from the body into it's wings, so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved it's freedom from the cocoon.

The moral of the story...

Life's struggles help build character. While there is great wisdom in this idea, when you're in the middle of a struggle, knowing that you're building character doesn't bring much relief. It's usually only after the situation has been resolved that we can reflect on our experience and assess the impact it had on our life. I have found this to be true in my life. Being in the in a place where I felt so hopeless and stuck it was hard to think this was making me a better person.

At the end of the day, we can either allow our challenges to pummel us and leave us feeling beaten down by life, or we can choose to consciously walk through each challenge with God and learn from the experience. The latter can truly build strength and wisdom when we allow it to and not become bitter because of what we face.

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
Romans 5:1-5

An excerpt from the book: TrueFaced
(Subject: Living out of who God says I am)
If my motive is trusting God, then my value will be living out who God says I am and my action will be standing with God, with my sin in front of us to work on together. Let's look at the value that flows from trusting God- living out of who God says I am. Have we already been changed? Yes. As day is from night, we have changed. We have received a new heart, for crying out loud! We have a brand-new core identity. We have already been changed, and now we get to mature into who we already are.
Consider the caterpillar. If we brought a caterpillar to a biologist and asked him to analyze it and describe its DNA, he would tell us, "I know this looks like a caterpillar to you, but scientifically, in every testable result, including DNA, this is fully and completely a butterfly." Wow! God has wired into a creature that looks nothing like a butterfly, a perfectly complete butterfly "identity." And because the caterpillar is a butterfly in essence, it will one day display attributes of a butterfly. The caterpillar matures into what is already true about it. In the meantime, berating the caterpillar for not being more like a butterfly is not only futile, it might actually harm its hearing!
So it is with us. God has given us the DNA of godliness. We are saints. Righteous. Nothing we do will make us more godly or saintly than we already are. Nothing we do will alter this reality. God knows our DNA. He knows that we are "Christ in me." And now he is asking us to join Him in what He knows is true!

"For here's what I'm going to do: I'm going to take you out of these countries, gather you from all over, and bring you back to your own land. I'll pour pure water over you and scrub you clean. I'll give you a new heart, put a new spirit in you. I'll remove the stone heart from your body and replace it with a heart that's God-willed, not self-willed. I'll put my Spirit in you and make it possible for you to do what I tell you and live by my commands. You'll once again live in the land I gave your ancestors. You'll be my people! I'll be your God!"
Ez. 36:24

So much truth in two small gifts...
Thank you Connor, Brittany, Robbyn and Keith for being a vessel for God to touch my heart and Im sure the hearts of many others.

I loved these pictures and thought they depicted this blog post well.

A broken, empty beautiful butterfly
http://www.flickr.com/photos/rosie_hardy/2867746111/in/photostream/

A free, transformed, gorgeous butterfly living for her Godhttp://www.flickr.com/photos/rosie_hardy/2865249809/in/photostream/

Revelations

I dont even know where to begin as far as sharing what the Lord has done in my life over the last few month so I thought that I would start out by sharing several revelations the Lord has given to me that I will hold close to my heart forever...

• Christ in Me:

"For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory." Col. 3:3

"God doesn't play hide-and-seek with us. He's not remote; he's near. We live and move in him, can't get away from him! One of your poets said it well: 'We're the God-created.' " Acts. 17:24-29

"You realize, don't you, that you are the temple of God, and God himself is present in you? No one will get by with vandalizing God's temple, you can be sure of that. God's temple is sacred—and you, remember, are the temple." 1Cor. 3:16-17

*I have always struggled with loving myself, all of me, body, mind, heart, soul and spirit. The Lord has shown me how to love and accept myself the way he made all of me by the words of these verses. Because he is a part of me and I love him, then I automatically am loving and accepting myself. He is part of me. When I think degrading thoughts about myself I am not only hurting myself, but I am hurting God. Its saying that the way he made me is not good enough and he is not good enough (since he is a part of me). How can I not love, accept and respect myself when Christ himself is in me!?!

• Beautiful:

  " You're beautiful from head to toe, my dear love,
  beautiful beyond compare, absolutely flawless." Songs 4:7

*Comparison of others whether it be physical looks, personality traits, spiritual maturity, or tangible belongings can bring about quite a bit of discontentment. I have found myself doing this a lot in the past (and sometimes still battle), but God has given me some insight into this verse and how to apply it to my life. God only created one Meagan Nicole Vrba, therefore I cant compare myself and my life to others because there is no other Meagan with my DNA, personality and spirituality to compare myself to. I was created by God to fit into the mold that he made for me, not someone else's mold. When I lust after what others have and try to 'be like them,' its never enough to satisfy. Why? because wasnt created to fit in your mold and you were not created to fit in mine. God loves me so much that he made me unique. The more I am able to accept and love all of me exactly the way God made me and yield to his desires for me, the more I fit into my God-created, Meagan Nicole Vrba, mold. And within that mold beauty and flawlessness is found in the eyes of the Lord.

• Demonic Illusions:

"The Spirit makes it clear that as time goes on, some are going to give up on the faith and chase after demonic illusions put forth by professional liars. These liars have lied so well and for so long that they've lost their capacity for truth. They will tell you not to get married. They'll tell you not to eat this or that food—perfectly good food God created to be eaten heartily and with thanksgiving by believers who know better! Everything God created is good, and to be received with thanks." 1 Tim. 4:1-5

*For so long I was told and believed that anorexia was a disease that I would have 'manage' for the rest of my life. The world has tried to explain away why people struggle with different things only to find often that their 'fixes' never truly bring freedom The Lord has given me the realization of how untrue it is that anorexia is a disease- the truth will set you free. Anorexia is a spiritual battle, a demonic illusion that I sought after blindly for over 12 years. Its not something I have to 'manage' for the rest of my life Christ has set me free, so indeed I am free. There is so much freedom in this truth and the fact that I have authority over anorexia, the enemy, through Christ in me.

• Freedom:
  

"Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you." Gal. 5:1

*About a month ago someone asked me if I had received complete healing and freedom from anorexia and I hesitated in my response. I thought 'Im not free, the thoughts and temptations are still present.' But the more I wrestled with and prayed about this I discovered ... I AM FREE, ever since I accepted Christ he made me free. There will still be thoughts and temptations because 1) satan is alive and well, ready to devour and 2) we live in a fallen world, things happen because of our sin nature. It's what I do in those moments when the thoughts and temptations come in that I am able to choose Christ, my path of freedom. Obedience to God time after time will determine the level or freedom I experience. So the question is: How free do I want to be?

Free to be ME!
(no matter what I am doing and how
silly I look I know that I am loved)

Meagan's Graduation Memories