July Blogging Challenge Day 8

How do you envision your life being in the next 5 years?

I've been told on many occasions to never set your expectations and if you are going to set them don't set them too high because you will often find yourself disappointed when things don't pan out like you want.  But in light of the question and a matter hoping the best for my self I would say at the very least I would like to be living in good solid recovery from my eating disorder as well as have met the man I intend to marry, if not engaged or married to him already.  This is keeping it short, sweet and attainable... the main thing I want to accomplish though is freedom from my eating disorder, if falling in love happens too great, but what matters most is my freedom, my life depends on it!

A Public Service Announcement: GET REAL

NEDA Walk 2012

Several weeks ago my parents and several friends of mine went up to Dallas for the National Eating Disorder Association Walk as Team Eden.  

NEDA is a non-profit organization dedicated to supporting individuals and families affected by eating disorders and campaigns for prevention, improved access to quality treatment, and increased research funding to better understand and treat eating disorders.  I am a definite supporter of anything related to eating disorder treatment and prevention therefore didn't give a second thought to creating a team to raise support for this organization who is contributing to giving hope and a future to those with eating disorders.

The event included information and resources for treatment and support of eating disorders both local and nationwide as well as special guest Jenni Shafer who wrote Life Without Ed & Goodbye Ed Hello Me, two books which have been great resources for my own recovery.  We were also asked to write the reason we were walking and wear it as we took our stroll through the park.

The event was quite successful.  This was Dallas' first ever walk and in comparison to other walks that have started up over the years the Dallas walk of 2012 was a top First-Time Earner with close to $35,000!  Team Eden contributed to about $1,300 of that amount!

A BIG THANKS to all who supported Team Eden & NEDA as well as all of those who have supported me over the many years I've battled this ugly eating disorder.

Where Im goin'....

The first part of January I wrote out Goals for 2011 and mentioned creating a vision board.  Well, I finally finished my vision board(s) so I would like to share them and show you what is motivating me to push past struggles and discomfort so that I might obtain the desires of my heart.  

But first, let's revisit the goals I set-- in an non-condemning way-- celebrate the victories and embrace those areas that need work.

Let's do areas of struggle first: 

"But we also glory in our sufferings,  because we know that suffering produces perseverance;  perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." --Romans 5:3-5

Daily:

*Be more gentle with myself -I'm always needing to work on this; I need to be more gracious towards myself.

*Laugh more- I have been embracing this, but I put it down because I definitely think you can never laugh too much! 

*Allow my inner desires, wants and intuition... the Holy Spirit, to shape the choices I make throughout each day & Work on balance, variety & moderation in every aspect of my life- These two areas I definitely need to work on MOST! Fear sets in and I often find myself going 'safe' rather than honoring my true self and most importantly the Lord.  I know the Lord desires for me to enjoy every aspect of life, but it's ultimately my choice whether or not I embrace the freedom he has given me.

Weekly: 

*Eat out 1-2x a week- I have eaten out a couple times since I posted goals earlier in the month, but not weekly.  I know this is an important part of moving forward and stepping out of my comfort zone to experience greater freedom. 

*Work on a few exercises from Beautiful You: A Daily Guide to Radical Self-Acceptance -I'm going to revise this weekly goal to just working on exercises when I feel led and the extra time... Love the book, just don't want to set an expectation :)

*Treat myself to dessert- This kind of goes along with suppressing those inner desires to enjoy yummy things... I have done this a couple times, maybe, I know once for sure, but I really need to do this AT LEAST once a week!

Things I want to work on incorporating throughout the new year:

*Read more

*Face some fear foods

*Love & accept myself as a person & my body as God's temple-- This is continual regardless of where I am physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Now onto the VICTORIES....  

"For whatever is born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world— our faith. Who is he who overcomes the world, but he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?" 1 John 5:3-5

Daily

*Be consistent with my vitamins

*Set aside quiet time for each day- and the Lord is speaking to my heart!

*Drink more water- definitely progress, but still needs work  

Weekly

*Hang out with a friend at least once a week

*Pamper myself- this comes pretty easy most the time!

*Journal 

*Laugh more

Monthly
*Attend Recovery at The Village Church- It's great to be back at Recovery!
*Meet with support system- The Lord orchestrated perfectly a Biblical Counselor who practices similar to what I was taught at Mercy, a Dietitian who is a believer and helps to empower me, and a mentor that is walking in freedom and willing to walk freedom out with me!

For the Year & What's to Come:

*Start searching/interviewing for a job- I never realized job searching took so much work.  Praise the Lord he has worked it out for to to take a class to help me along the way! Praying and believing God has his hand on the perfect position for me.  Will you join?

*Attend Passion 2011- Ticket Bought! 
*Graduate from University of North Texas- May 14, 2011
*Hawaii with my family- Date set & plane tickets bought! June 28, 2011

And now, what we have all been waiting for, the long awaited Vision Board of Meagan Nicole Vrba for 2011 and my Personal Mission statement,  Drum-roll please.... 

"To cultivate and embrace the freedom I've been given through Christ so that I may live a life that brings Him glory & praise."

First comes faith, then comes marriage, then comes a baby (or 2) in a baby-carriage!

Continued freedom, traveling, peace, a baby, exercise, joy, a dog, and a glowing happiness

Full Life: family, dancing, new car, no debt, enjoyment of all food w/o fear, health & balance...

My Big Dream... more to come in the near future, Lord willing!

There we have it!  A review of the month and what's in store for the future....

"Now faith is the assurance of things we hope for, the certainty of things we cannot see."  --Hebrews 11:1

"God you made my life complete when I placed all the pieces before you (let go)... The good people taste your goodness, the whole people taste your health and the true people taste      your truth." -Psalm 18

 

Words

Words are just words, it's our actions that speak.

Currently I am praying these words over every aspect of my life, practicing walking them out even when it doesn't feel good and believing my obedience will bring freedom far beyond anything I can imagine.

• Courageous
• Confident in Christ
• Committed
• Consistent

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all."

F.E.A.R- False Evidence Appearing Real

Something that I am continually having to remind myself lately has been: "I must do the right thing even when I don't feel like it or it doesn't feel good."  This means facing those false beliefs and lies the enemy torments me with regardless of the how 'normal' they seem, because deep down I know they are LIFE STEALING LIES.  To put into practice obedience and trusting that through my steps I will begin to truly in my heart believe what God says about me rather than what the enemy says.  The Truth will replace the lies, becoming second nature and the more consistent I am in practicing this I will begin to see true victory... this way of life will be my new 'normal' that I believe by what God promises me in His Word that will be far beyond normal...

One of the huge hindrances I face day in and day out is my fear.  The fear I carry, when not battled against, but engaged in keeps me stuck and away from freedom and the life God wants for me.  I came across this article on Freedom from Fear at The Resurgence


We cannot underestimate the importance of freedom in our lives. Freedom is one of the top reasons Jesus came to earth: 

“For freedom Christ has set us free...” (Galatians 5:1).

But what does freedom mean?

What freedom isn't:

• The ability to do what we want. This certainly would be freeing, but God is not calling us to do whatever we want. We can’t escape his moral law and somehow think there won’t be consequences.
• The ability to do as we ought. We are now free to do the things we were created to do. But this definition still lacks because we are gold mixed with impurities. Yes, we have the power to do as we ought, but we don’t ALWAYS do right because sin is still residing in us.
• An emotional expression during the music portion of a worship service. Freedom in this definition is raising hands, waving a flag, or singing loud. While I applaud anyone who can be uninhibited when the congregation is singing, this is a silly definition of freedom — not very compelling. 

True freedom - Freedom is no longer having to obey fear; fear is no longer our master. We are uninhibited to be bold, to step out in faith, to risk. Irreligion produces fear because the weight of guilt and having to trust in yourself is too much for our fragile souls. Religion produces fear because we are afraid we haven’t done everything right; that the slightest error may restrain the hand of God’s blessing.

Enslaved by fear
Christ has set us free from fear. The importance of this cannot be overstated because fear is our biggest slave master; and here are our top 5 greatest fears (adapted from Marcus Buckingham):

• The Fear of Death — we have a need for security

• The Fear of Being Alone — we have a need for community
• The Fear of the Future — we have a need for clarity
• The Fear of Chaos — we have a need for authority
• The Fear of Insignificance — we have a need for respect.

“Religion produces fear because we are afraid we haven’t done everything right; that the slightest error may restrain the hand of God’s blessing."

Think of how these fears guide our life! Our hearts respond to every one of these fears in different ways, and each individual responds to one fear more than others (for instance, I am more afraid of insignificance than I am of death). Our response is often driven by unbelief, which leads to captivity.
Fear in the every day

• Some of us are so afraid of death we become overly obsessed about health, germs, and safety, consequently choosing who we will help based on security and not based on love.
• Others of us are so afraid of insignificance any criticism feels like an attack and we lose relationships when people challenge us.

Jesus bought our freedom
Redemption from this captivity is part of Jesus’ main work. If we examine those five fears with the eyes of faith, we can see Jesus is the answer to them all:

• He is our security, even in death, because Jesus took away condemnation in death.
• He is our community — he promises never to leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5)
• He is our future — he controls the future and has prepared a place for us
• He is our authority — all authority on heaven and earth is his (Matthew 28:18). He is accomplishing all things according to his plan.
• He is our significance — Jesus alone validates and justifies our life.

http://theresurgence.com/2011/01/12/freedom-from-fear

I am definitely guilty of the enslavement of fear, but am beginning to make steps forward in facing each one head on.  I will not allow the enemy to steal from me the Freedom that Christ freely gives me ... I will GO forward, I will FIGHT the spiritual tools the Lord has equipped me with and through Christ I will, we will WIN!!!!  (Oh and if I have to get mad I will just use that as ammunition to fight the enemy for all he has stolen and his attempts to continue to do so).

 For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, "Abba! Father!"  --Romans 8:15

I saw this cute, little turtle and couldn't resist not using it as a great illustration for the message God gives us about FEAR--

       This little turtle is scared and hiding from the world, unable to live the life God has for him.  God has given him the protection he needs (his shell) as protection from the enemy, but how will He even realize his potential and the protection he has if he doesn't step out and use it... So don't be like the turtle hiding in your shell of safety, whatever it may be, alone and scared-- step out in faith and trust Him and what He has given you to protect you so you can see He is faithful and a protector.  How will we ever know if you don't use the freedom and protection He FREELY gives us???

I promise you what I promised Moses: ‘Wherever you set foot, you will be on land I have given you ... No one will be able to stand against you as long as you live. For I will be with you as I was with Moses. I will not fail you or abandon you. Be strong and courageous, for you are the one who will lead these people to possess all the land I swore to their ancestors I would give them. Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the instructions Moses gave you. Do not deviate from them, turning either to the right or to the left. Then you will be successful in everything you do. Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do. This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.   --Joshua 1:3-9

What fears do you need to face? 

 

P.S. What shall we name our little turtle Friend??